This and last week has been like that endless dark pit which you’ll never want to fall through and which you would never wish on anyone to experience even your worst enemy; that’s how bad these past few days have been. I have no idea how my life changed, I just woke up one morning and suddenly things were different my room, my life, my friends, my thoughts, it’s like one day you wake up being someone totally different but in the same body, that instance when you wake up and you look into the mirror and you totally have no idea who is looking back at you.
I thought to myself that it was probably the Monday blues and it would pass but I was wrong. As the day progressed I felt worse I didn’t want to talk anyone and didn’t want anyone to talk to me and if they tried I would just push them away, I know they probably thought I was being a big headed jerk, I couldn’t blame them cause even though they were my friends they didn’t get what I was going through; hell, i didn’t know what I was going through so basically all alone I just put on my earphones and faded away to a different world thinking it would make things better, once again I guess I was wrong it only made time pass faster but the second I removed the earphones reality hit me in the face even harder than before if you have seen the video Numb by linking park you might be able to get the picture.
In class while the lecture was still going on I was not getting a word coming out of the lecture’s mouth it was like my ears were in mute yet so many thoughts were flowing through me and the weird thing is that I didn’t really get those thoughts I really felt like hitting something or someone I was just wishing nature would give me that opportunity. I really don’t know how but I began to listen when the lecture turned his words ( i think he was trying to inspire the class or something) saying in that life is great and exciting: If it was a different day I would applaud him but this day I was almost sending some not very nice words to him but thank God for self-control.
As the day progressed I really felt like crap. The weird thing is that to date nothing much has changed maybe just became worse, I really am afraid this time, nothing is working in my life.